She is my Protector

I love her. She is all mine. Every night I go to sleep she is with me. My pillow, Baby, then my head resting upon her. Comfort. Most people that see her laugh, being described as: dirty, old, and my personal favorite… flat-head. I see her as: loving, shelter, and stability.

Every time someone has walked out of my life… she has been there.
Every time I would cry in my room… she has been there.
Every time I needed support… she has been there.

Baby has been the only constant in my life.

My parents got divorced when I was 5. I was heart-broken. I remember curling up in a ball and crying to Baby. As the years rolled on so did my relationship with her. Every time my heart would get broken by a boy, she was there. Crying to myself. She listened. My mom eventually got re-married. Soon the fighting began again. Like clock-work, I would lock my door, crawl into a ball and sob. As I would lie there, I knew no matter how alone and frightened I felt… I was protected. I have gone through many changes in my life: a new house, transferring high schools, drastic haircuts, changing cliques of friends, and maybe even one or two identity crisis’s.

But without fail… She was there.

She has never judged me.

I have grown to love and respect Baby as any other mother does toward her young. The only difference, I feel like Baby is my mother. My inspiration. I can learn from her.

As people make fun of her, I ignore them. She has been thrown across the room, called names, and even stepped on. When this happens I am hurt. Crushed. Saddened. But without fail, she does not complain. She is my protector.

My Theory: she gets picked on and beaten up so I won’t be the victim. She takes the heat so the target isn’t on my back. She has listened to me cry countless times and doesn’t want me to be in that vulnerable state. And for that… I love her. She is my Best Friend.

When I am with her, I feel safe… at peace. She is my bodyguard.

After graduation my dad took me on a trip to Colorado and Las Vegas. We had just spent 6 days in Colorado and finally landed in Las Vegas. Baby was not with me. She was lost. I started to cry. My dad called the hotel in Colorado.

Dad: “Yes, Hi. I was just there and I think my little girl (that’s what he calls me) left her baby doll in our room”
Hotel Lady: “Yes Sir. I have her sitting on my desk. I was expecting a phone call from someone looking for her. She looks a little beaten up, but that just shows she is really loved”
Dad: “Thank you ma’am!! My little girl was so upset; can you please send her to Las Vegas for us?”
Hotel Lady: “Not a problem Sir. I am glad to help you and your little girl. Do you mind me asking how old she is?!”
Dad: “18”
Hotel Lady: “I totally understand…. my little girl is 28. I’ll send it express”

Almost 4 years later and I think of you often ma’am… thank you for your generosity.

Tonight I will go to sleep in peace. I am safe. Baby is by my side. Ready to listen at all times. I can count on her. She is my Protector.

Candy or The King

As I woke up this morning I did my normal routine: turn off my alarm, pull off my covers, walk to the bathroom, brush my teeth, and decide what I am going to wear. Today, my attire choice was directed towards my appearance at church.

Yes, I go to church.

Today was like any other service, with one little difference... I was squished. I have never seen so many people crammed into this small historic building. I was excited to see so many people ready to worship, but I was also filled with wonder. When will I see some of these people again... Next week?! Next month?! Or will I have to wait until Christmas to see these smiling faces?!

The thought still saddens me as I write this. Why today?! It's just a normal Sunday... or is it?!

Growing up I correlated Easter with candy... lots and lots of candy. As I have matured in my new found faith I have lost interest in the candy. The candy was a nice "treat" in many more ways than just one. But I think I am ready to worship our Lord and Savior on this day instead of shoving my face with useless sugar and calories.

I have witnessed his love.

I live 3 hours away from Longwood and was unable to go home to Springfield to visit my family on this glorious day. I was invited to a friends house for their family's BBQ. As I walked in I was greeted with smiling faces and laughter. I felt like I just walked into my own home. I was able to witness the greatest miracle on Earth. LOVE. And not only love, but God's love shown through strangers.

As the day progressed the adults (yup, i am not qualified as an adult!) talked on the back porch while the children played in the yard. The girls searched for Easter Eggs while the boys were tossing around a football. As the little girls ran around the yard picking up egg after egg they became happier and more excited. This excitement poured over as they counted their eggs and got to open them.

it.hit.me.

Maybe this is why children are given candy. They are given candy to celebrate this day. If they are taught as a child to celebrate and respect this day of gifts, they will grow up to find the deeper meaning. Reflecting on how happy they were to give a gift, they need to give back to others. As they grow in their faith and give gifts to others they are sharing the greatest thing we have been taught... Love.

Give Love. Share Love. Show Love. Accept Love.

and to all of those people that I saw in church today, even if I do not see you for another 365 days, know one thing... i love you.