Nomad With a License

I am a nomad who hates to drive. But driving is the only thing I seem to want to do these days. I often hear the phrase, home is where the heart is, but my heart is currently broken in to four pieces.

one piece in Northern Virginia
one piece in Southern Virginia
one piece in Maryland
one piece in Georgia

According to dictionary.com
no·mad 
–noun
1. a member of a people or tribe that has no permanent abode but moves about from place to place, usually seasonally and often following a traditional route or circuit according to the state of the pasturage or food supply.

According to urbandictionary.com
Nomad
Noun. 1.one without a home who moves around or travels freely without ties holding them back. 2.a constant or full-time traveler

Question: I am finally on my own. But I have been homesick. What should a nomad do?!
Answer: Drive

So I drive. And drive. And drive. Did I mention I hate to drive?! As I complain a little more about driving... I watch the guy talking on his phone cut me off in traffic and the woman who would rather look at herself putting on lipstick in the mirrior than watch the road... wonderful. Once I get to my destination (one of the 4 places my broken heart is kept) I am overwhelmed with joy. Elated. Usually I cry. I finally feel at peace.

Quickly these feelings fade. Although I love these people very much... 75% of my heart is missing. So again, I drive...

My heart is broken. I wish I could put it back together. Have all of my family in one place and my heart be whole again. I know this can never happen, but i'll never stop hoping. Because what is a life without hope?!

Pointless

So until that day comes, you will know where i'll be... driving

Individuality

The greatest thing a person can have is their individual opinion. That is why I love this great country. Everyone's opinion counts. If you have something to say... say it. There will always be someone there to support you.

One difference.

The person that supports you on one issue will be against you on another. Individuality is crucial to this country surviving. If everyone jumped on the 'band-wagon' of someone else, life as we know it will be over. Slowly, many views will be molded into one view. Once this view is in power... it's all over. One of my biggest pet-peeves is people not standing up for what they believe in. I believe in the Washington Redskins and the Washington Nationals... and I always will. Fight me on it. I will back up my opinion. I might agree another team is better, but I will always support my team.

Why try to be like someone else when God made us different on purpose. It's like you are going against his plan. So why fight the inevitable?!

Be who you are.
Stand up for your opinion.
Be an individual.

3 weeks + 1

For three weeks I completed my Practicum II in 4th grade. I worked along side a great cooperating teacher who truly took me under her wing and showed me the ropes. I was not just a volunteer within the classroom, but a real teacher. Along with my required three lessons I needed to teach... I was doing two lessons a day by the second week. I was given the confidence to teach. Be respected by the students. Supported by my cooperating teacher.

it. was. amazing.

I currently feel so confident that I could be thrown into a classroom, and be ready to teach the students... anywhere. Before this experience, no way!! My last day was June 4th, I cried... hard. The students threw me a surprise party with gifts (picture frame, mug, cupcakes, and cards) each student made a hand written card. It took me 3 hours to go through them all. I could only read a few, then I had to put them down. It was unbearable how much I already missed them.

unforgettable.

This experience was life-changing. I missed the students. My cooperating teacher. The amazing staff.

solution: return.

Today was the last day of school. I drove an hour to J.W. Alvey Elementary School in Prince William County, and stayed the entire day. The kids were surprised. It was great to get to see them again. Sign their yearbooks. Spend their last few hours as fourth graders... together. As the day ended I received hugs from each student, again... I cried.

rotation.

I only spent three weeks with them, and I felt like they were mine. I had ownership of them... then I was letting them go. What am I going to do when I have students for a whole year?! This experience has taught me: patience, humbleness, confidence, and courage. I am forever grateful.

For future years: invest in a large box of tissues.

Amelia

5 months ago I went on a mission's trip to Belize. While I was there our team spent time at Liberty Orphanage... that is where I met Amelia. She is a lively, little girl somewhere between the ages of 18 months and 2 years old. If I could, I would adopt her... right now. I think of her constantly and pray for her. I wrote her this 2 months ago. I found it while I was looking through a box. I wish I could send it. Have her read it. Understand it. One day I hope to return to Belize, and with God's will, have the opportunity to adopt her.


Amelia,

I had another dream of you. Our group returned to the orphanage and you ran to me. I picked you up in my arms like I always did. You had that large, over-sized jump rope around your neck. You look into my eyes. My heart melted; you are so beautiful, loving, and full of laughter. You have taught me how to appreciate life. You hold my hand and walk me around the campus. Stopping at your favorite corner in between the cement bench and the ant invested tree. You jump rope. I say jump rope, but you throw the rope in the air, jump twice, then giggle for 5 minutes. I love you. You have changed me. You are afraid of snakes too... we were meant for each other. I want to return to Belize. Take you with me. Have you be my daughter. I hated leaving you. I cried. When I think of you, I still cry. When I close my eyes I can hear your giggle, see your smiling face, feel your hand in mine. I miss you. I am crying now. I want you to know... I did not want to leave you. I wanted to stay. Spend all of my time with you. You will forever be in my heart. I pray to God that his will is for me to return to Belize and adopt you. But if it is not his will, I will forever have you in my heart. Pray for you. Love you. My heart breaks knowing that you are so far away. I want to be back at Liberty pushing you on the swing. Forever. I will see you tonight in my dreams.

I love you,
Tara

525600 minutes

Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes


Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Moments so dear.


Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?


In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights
In cups of coffee
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.


In five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure
A year in the life?


Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes!


Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Journeys to plan.


Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes


How do you measure the life
Of a woman or a man?


In truths that she learned,
Or in times that he cried.


In bridges he burned,
Or the way that she died.


It's time now to sing out,
Tho' the story never ends
Let's celebrate


Remember a year in the life of friends
Remember the love!


Remember the love!


Seasons of love!


Oh you got to got to
Remember the love!


You know that love is a gift from up above
Share love, give love spread love


Measure your life in love.

Junior Year Change

The end of Junior Year, most people are excited for their final year... the long awaited "BIG SENIORS". But unlike most, I am stuck in a predicament that my sister was in 4 years ago. A situation I thought I would never have to deal with.

let me back track.

When my sister was a Junior at James Madison my mom and step-dad decided we were going to move out of our townhouse (I was actually born IN this house) and into a single family house. The market was crazy, our house was sold after being listed for only 3 days. We ended up buying a lovely contemporary house 3 miles down the road. It fit us nicely. The only issue... Lauren was at school. She found out from a phone call that we were packing her bags. When she was done with exams she would be returning to a new house, not yet qualified as a home. She was upset and angry. I thought she was a baby and needed to get over it.

present day.

I receive a phone call from my mom, we are selling our house and she is moving down to Georgia to be with the rest of my family. Lauren has been spending every night in my room packing and cleaning. Upon my return last week from my Junior Year at Longwood, everything was changed. It was not my home, room, or living space. It was transformed into a white, empty canvas that is screaming for creativity and furniture. I am lost. I am now the baby.

the house is for sale. Lauren has moved into her own condo. Mom is moving to Georgia in late June/early July. and I am here.

but where exactly is here?!

I will be staying in Springfield, Centreville, Maryland, and Georgia before I return back to Farmville July 1st.

Farmville. Sunchase is where I live. My new home. Am I now considered a local?! I am 21 years old and am starting a life on my own. Although I have a supportive family and fantastic roommates... I am nervous and scared.

Am I ready for this change?!
I guess I'll have to be...

She is my Protector

I love her. She is all mine. Every night I go to sleep she is with me. My pillow, Baby, then my head resting upon her. Comfort. Most people that see her laugh, being described as: dirty, old, and my personal favorite… flat-head. I see her as: loving, shelter, and stability.

Every time someone has walked out of my life… she has been there.
Every time I would cry in my room… she has been there.
Every time I needed support… she has been there.

Baby has been the only constant in my life.

My parents got divorced when I was 5. I was heart-broken. I remember curling up in a ball and crying to Baby. As the years rolled on so did my relationship with her. Every time my heart would get broken by a boy, she was there. Crying to myself. She listened. My mom eventually got re-married. Soon the fighting began again. Like clock-work, I would lock my door, crawl into a ball and sob. As I would lie there, I knew no matter how alone and frightened I felt… I was protected. I have gone through many changes in my life: a new house, transferring high schools, drastic haircuts, changing cliques of friends, and maybe even one or two identity crisis’s.

But without fail… She was there.

She has never judged me.

I have grown to love and respect Baby as any other mother does toward her young. The only difference, I feel like Baby is my mother. My inspiration. I can learn from her.

As people make fun of her, I ignore them. She has been thrown across the room, called names, and even stepped on. When this happens I am hurt. Crushed. Saddened. But without fail, she does not complain. She is my protector.

My Theory: she gets picked on and beaten up so I won’t be the victim. She takes the heat so the target isn’t on my back. She has listened to me cry countless times and doesn’t want me to be in that vulnerable state. And for that… I love her. She is my Best Friend.

When I am with her, I feel safe… at peace. She is my bodyguard.

After graduation my dad took me on a trip to Colorado and Las Vegas. We had just spent 6 days in Colorado and finally landed in Las Vegas. Baby was not with me. She was lost. I started to cry. My dad called the hotel in Colorado.

Dad: “Yes, Hi. I was just there and I think my little girl (that’s what he calls me) left her baby doll in our room”
Hotel Lady: “Yes Sir. I have her sitting on my desk. I was expecting a phone call from someone looking for her. She looks a little beaten up, but that just shows she is really loved”
Dad: “Thank you ma’am!! My little girl was so upset; can you please send her to Las Vegas for us?”
Hotel Lady: “Not a problem Sir. I am glad to help you and your little girl. Do you mind me asking how old she is?!”
Dad: “18”
Hotel Lady: “I totally understand…. my little girl is 28. I’ll send it express”

Almost 4 years later and I think of you often ma’am… thank you for your generosity.

Tonight I will go to sleep in peace. I am safe. Baby is by my side. Ready to listen at all times. I can count on her. She is my Protector.